
He would just do everything he hated when his students did it. He imagined it would be like this intellectual exercise that he could sort of approach in a cold fashion. He went straight into his studio, having already decided what he would do. Why? But I egged him on, pleading, and finally he gave in.Īs soon as Sholem returned home after brunch, he set about making his entry-so he wouldn't have to think about it anymore, he explained to me later, or have looming before him the prospect of having to make something ugly. The premise turned him off so much-that one should intentionally make something ugly. Margaux agreed to the competition right away, but Sholem was reluctant.

I had spent so much time trying to make the play I was writing-and my life, and my self-into an object of beauty. What would my painting look like? How would I proceed? I thought it would be a simple, interesting thing to do. I wanted to make an ugly painting-pit mine against theirs and see whose would win. I was curious to see what the results would be, and secretly I envied them. The idea was that Margaux and Sholem would compete to see who could make the uglier painting. Who came up with the idea for the Ugly Painting Competition? I don't remember, but once I got enthusiastic, suddenly we all were. So this past spring, he completed his M.F.A. It was an epiphany and a decision both, from which there would be no turning back-the first and most serious vow of his life. So he went, and his first year there, up late one night painting, as the sun began rising with the morning, a sudden and strong feeling came up inside him that said, I must be an artist. They didn't think it was practical, and encouraged him to go to art school instead. When Sholem was a teenager, he had dreamed of being a theater actor, but his parents didn't want him to go to theater school. These are a few of the sordid fruits that led to the Ugly Painting Competition. Margaux said it was impossible for her to picture an ugly person, and Misha remarked that ugly people tend to stay at home. Sholem said he couldn't enjoy a friendship with someone he wasn't attracted to. I said that a few years ago I had looked around at my life and realized that all the ugly people had been weeded out. I remember none of the details of our conversation until the subject turned to ugliness. I don't remember what we started off talking about, or who was the funniest that day. I shared a breakfast special and a grilled cheese with Margaux.

It ruined the place somewhat, but the food was cheap, it was never crowded, and they always had a place for us. I got there first, then Misha and Margaux arrived, then Sholem and his boyfriend, Jon.Ī few weeks earlier, the owners had repainted the diner walls from a grease-splattered beige to a thicky pastel blue and had spray-painted giant pictures of scrambled eggs and strips of bacon and pancakes with syrup.
